I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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