I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i out mim tonsoeep
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