'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Michael Bay diarrhea
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
