This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
