You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
