these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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