So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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