4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
