Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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