I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
