I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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