yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Randomize
