I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
