it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
