Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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