What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
