You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
