she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
