If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
