I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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