Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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