Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
