so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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