I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Shame - the story of my life.
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