Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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