We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
