im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
