In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
