do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
