this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
