I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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