love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
