fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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