okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
