the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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