I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
