He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
