we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
