Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm always down for nudity.
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