He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
