He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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