Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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