i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
