Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
