no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
