well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
my poor anus
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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