it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
