this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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