Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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