So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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